So much ideas, emotions and feelings have encompassed me lately and I do not think that they all have anything to do with my birthday or age. It all started when I remembered that our first house was a blue house, too and I went searching for old photographs to sort and send to Drachenfänger and that was enhanced this morning by a song from Queen in the radio: Its magic. That song always reminds me of my children in their formative years. And all of this lets me go back and feel! Feel who I was, my children, my partner and how we were formed throughout life.
Drachenfänger goes Asia again and memory lets me feel how we were at THAT time with Kugelfisch and Schildkrötenhals - how we all changed - individually and as a group - since even such a relatively short time - or did we?
Yes of course we did. How many different aspects of ourselfes did we live in our lifes, aspects we did not even know we encumbered. How many lifes did we live in one lifetime?
But the more important question is: how many aspects did we lose in the process due to certain circumstances - aspects we put way back in our mind because they did not seem to serve a purpose at the time, because it hurt or produced a sad or a severely fearful memory. Except those memories are part of us and are a missing link. I finally understand now why those aspects must be saved and again integrated to make me whole. Everytime I feel not loved, misundeerstood, alone - that is the time to look for the missing aspects and feel them again in order to heal and release the negative (because there is really no negative) and integrate once more to be I AM THAT I AM!